Temple Illuminatus

But he won't talk to me either. He's there, but in silence and shadow. It's my fault-he should cut me out completely. He won't. it hurts.

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Comment by Rosey on August 9, 2018 at 9:12pm

Oh wow Saba! I generally do not comment on things as this but...you sound as I was about 2013 or so. 

I met someone online and we became great friends,,,he helped immensely...I became comfortable and thought we would be friends but had I looked at past behavior. He played women.He had a very specific time cycle too and it took me 2 years of going though to be pulled in and thrown out (verbal type abuse) before I realized. Look, I am not saying my situation is the same as you but the emotional feelings are very similar.

We learn from our expreinces and Saba-you would HAVE made it with out without him. YOU NEED NO ONE NOT BUT YOURSELF! You have all you need within you and until you learn, understand and live that you will repeat this cycle. It may be someone different next time. Easiest to verbalize but hardest to live and experience: Love yourself (accept your strengths and weaknesses), be gentle with yourself, and to thine own self be true!

Even if he came back it would not be the same as you are not the same! Think about it!

Let go! Release guilt and the hold he has over you! If he is a psychic vamp and some are and know what they do-do not allow your essence to be held in the lower vibrations which these emotions do

Blessings

Comment by Saba on August 9, 2018 at 6:07pm

No, I"m the problem, not him. I pushed away, I think. It's not him. He's helped me more than I can express. I wouldn't have been able to put together my statement and finally get to where I am, the progress I HAVE made, if it weren't for him.  I miss him, and I feel guilty.  I feel lost without him.  But I blame myself...it's really hard. Every day I hope to hear from him again and nothing, or just very slight interaction once in a while.  He just needs to do his thing and I think I really hurt him and I just want my friend back like it used to be, but I also think that I'm the one who isn't good for him, and that he needs to completely cut me off, and I told him this, and told him to keep me the fuck away from him, and he won't do it. But he's not talking to me really either. So it's just a rough in between and I wish he'd just tell me what the fuck....IDK what to think and maybe I'm just way overthinking it all the time, but we used to talk like every day and were close and now I feel like a ghost to him  

Comment by Linda M. on August 9, 2018 at 10:38am
show courage and cut him off then, leave so you can heal.

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