Temple Illuminatus

Tossing and turning in my bed
After all these years
Still can't get you out of my head
Nothing said nor done
I thank GOD
Because now I know
You were never the one
You were never meant for me

I know my heart'll never be whole
All the pain and anguish hidden in my soul
I try to hide them in my smiles
Hidden truth behind my lies
In my darkest and deprived dreams
I find you lurking in the shadows
And in my keen silent cries & screams

No you were never the one for me
You were never mine to love
Nor were you ever meant for me
I thank GOD, because now I see
I was an angel, you were not
I fell in love with a demon
And I deserved what I got
I had sought you from the darkest pit of hell
You took my wings
And I fell

I'm still here
But you moved on
I prayed like hell
That you are gone
Still I feel your malignant presence
Your silence and your cold indifference
You laughed as you broke my heart
Crushed my soul and tore me apart
I feel your absence
Whenever I want you with me
Your deadly mind games and imprudence

Deep in my wound riddled heart I know
In your huge and cold hands you hold
My essence imprisoned in a cage
Through which you manipulate me
Like your little stringed doll
So always know
There's a reason
Behind one's bitterness and rage
Unknown stories and woeful tales untold.

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Comment by Linda M. on March 20, 2017 at 9:41pm

Comment by Rowena Moran on March 11, 2017 at 7:44am

Of course it'll resonate with anybody who have or had experienced one-sided love... Thanks for such beautiful comments Julianna Kincaid, Zephonith Serpent Woman, Suncat & XERCES! I wrote it to just express & give vent all the hurt & pain in my heart. I usually write poems when I feel very depressed... And yes, there's an old festering wound in my heart which tends to bleed now & then! I know it'll never heal... It would never go away!

Comment by Zephonith Serpent Woman on March 10, 2017 at 2:40am

Comment by Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ~ XERCES~ Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ on March 8, 2017 at 9:12am

Another beautiful poem Rowena. I say beautiful for once again you have orchestrated pure emotion upon this virtual pallet. Like SunKat wrote "it resonates with me"..II too can say it resonates an underlying scar that opens -closes - only to be reopened again..the fissure that never heals ..alas until I but took the thread and sewed it shut!! Thankyou for posting another one of your works.

Comment by SunKat on March 7, 2017 at 10:43am

I love it...  sadly though it resonates with me in too many ways.  Thank you for sharing this.

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