Temple Illuminatus

I am the Alpha and Omega ( Rev. 22:13 ) Theory

The Decay Chain 

By Krsnaraja Melvin 
The Neptunium series is an example on how to explain why the 8,400,00 species of life transform or metamorphose into other forms of life we know as the reincarnation defined as the transmigration of the soul from one body to another. As the body decays, at death, the soul atomic particle accepts another  body at birth when it becomes stable. A decaying atomic soul, in short , decays with the body it has acquired ( aging ). When the body dies, the decaying atomic particle soul acquires another body to stabilize.


Bhagavad-Gita TEXT 17
avinasi tu tad viddhi
yena sarvam idam tatam
vinasam avyayasyasya
na kascit kartum arhati
avināśi—imperishable; tu—but; tat—that; viddhi—know it; yena—by whom;sarvam—all of the body; idam—this; tatam—widespread; vināśam—destruction;avyayasya—of the imperishable; asya—of it; na kaścit—no one; kartum—to do;arhati—able.
" Know that which pervades the entire body is indestructible. No one is able to destroy the imperishable soul."
This soul is described as one ten-thousandth part of the upper portion of the hair point in size.
The Śvetāśvatara Upaniṣad confirms this:
bālāgra-śata-bhāgasya śatadhā kalpitasya ca
bhāgo jīvaḥ sa vijñeyaḥ sa cānantyāya kalpate.
"When the upper point of a hair is divided into one hundred parts and again each of such parts is further divided into one hundred parts, each such part is the measurement of the dimension of the spirit soul." (Svet. 5.9) Similarly, in In
In Srimad Bhāgavatam the same version is stated:
keśāgra-śata-bhāgasya śatāṁśaḥ sādṛśātmakaḥ
jīvaḥ sūkṣma-svarupo 'yaṁ saṅkhyātīto hi cit-kaṇaḥ
"There are innumerable particles of spiritual atoms, which are measured as one ten-thousandth of the upper portion of the hair."
 In the Muṇḍaka Upaniṣad the measurement of the atomic spirit soul is further explained:
eṣo 'ṇurātmā cetasā veditavyo
yasmin prāṇaḥ pañcadhā saṁviveśa
prāṇaiś cittaṁ sarvam otam prajānāṁ
yasmin viśuddhe vibhavaty eṣa ātmā.
"The soul is atomic in size and can be perceived by perfect intelligence. This atomic soul is floating in the five kinds of air [prāṇa, apāna, vyāna, samāna and udāna], is situated within the heart, and spreads its influence all over the body of the embodied living entities. When the soul is purified from the contamination of the five kinds of material air, its spiritual influence is exhibited." (Muṇḍ. 3.1.9)
The atomic soul has a mind and body made in the image of its parents. It has taken a personality, specific physical features from the genes it inherited from its biological creators  down to its ancestors. So, we can not blame ourselves if we suffer hypertension, diabetes, asthma etc since these diseases are inherited.  It`s bad karma if they say we are dumb, stupid, ugly, crazy or deformed. Good karma if we are pretty or handsome, bright , talented, rich and hardworking. We actually inherited them from the genes of our parents and forefathers. These are all external. What is internal or eternal is the atomic soul found in everyone of us. If we grow old, its because the atomic soul is decaying ( Alpha ). If the atomic soul stabilizes into an Om particle, the body becomes immortal (Omega) e.g Jesus Christ 

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Comment by Krsnaraja Melvin on September 30, 2016 at 3:49pm

Dear Grigori Rho Gharveyn,  

Thank you, thank you so much for your thoughts. Thank you, too, for inviting me as your friend in my facebook account. Of all the posts you posted on my posts is the post on the melvins. Hahaha. I love their rock music or any music e.g smooth jazz, love songs. I use to play a guitar. I love to play the song and sing from America, " Ventura Highway. " The lyrics go this way "...chewing piece of grass..walking down the road...tell me..how long you gonna stay here, Joe..Some people say..this town don`t look good in snow.. you don`t care..I know...Ventura Highway in the sun shine...where the days are longer..the nights are stronger than the moonshine..you don`t care...I know..whoo..woww..whoo..wow..."

Ah, music...The language of the soul. It heals our mental wounds. We reminisce the good old days. It takes us back down memory lane.


I heard about Ram Das though I do not know him personally. He`s well rounded guy. very deep.

My Vani Guru and friend is His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. You must have probably hear of him. I read his works, Srimad Bhagavatam, his autobiography, " Prabhupada, " written by Satsvarup Dasa Goswami. I can be flexible in my views, Advaita or Dvaita. But I am more of a Bhakta. Yogananda Paramahansa and his followers belong to the Sancharacarya sect. They worship Krishna ( Mahavatar Babaji ) as Lord Siva. It`s alright with me. I am a Jesus Christ follower. I am devoted to Balarama whom I think is Christ. I love Krishna.

I am a devotee of Narada Muni, a liberated spaceman. Narada is the son of Brahma who said that this world is a phantasmagoria. Everything is unreal like a dream. So in our minds, we can fly to any place we desire. We can do anything except go to hell. Hmmm.. perhaps we could also go there and laugh with Satan. Lol!


As to your ailments and Tina`s. I saw her ( confined in the hospital ). Well, ailments in the body is nothing new to me because I am physician. I find your bi-polarity is a normal thing. All have that. It becomes a problem when we have no control of our delusions, hallucinations, etc. We have physical and mental diseases. There is pain. No pain no gain. So, when I have a body pain ( fibromyalgia ) for example, I take Celecoxib 400 mg 1 cap once daily. I try to avoid eating nuts because it increases the uric acid in our blood. I try to avoid sweets but it can not be helped. I love eating chocolates and ice cream. As to the weed thing. It is alright to inhale THC. It`s medical. It`s been told that Lord Siva smokes ganja with his friends in crematoriums.


You are to me, a very normal person. I am glad you came. Please do continue to write. I enjoy very much your musings.

Comment by Grigori Rho Gharveyn on September 30, 2016 at 9:26am

Hi Krsnaraja Melvin,
we are very sorry regarding your loss of affiliation with Yogananda's fellowship. We are familiar with him only by name.  For a moment we had Yogananda confused with Muktananda and another fellow, Osho, formerly known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.  

We have encountered severe rules while exploring another teacher's ashram in Oakland, CA. We made ourselves unwelcome there, and in another place in San Francisco because we find we are unable to surrender to a worldly teacher.

Surrender to their absolute authority appears to be an absolute requirement made by many teachers.

This may be understandable, as few teachers may feel that they can afford to be argued with by their students on the one hand, particularly publicly, while on another hand it is understandable in the sense that teachers cannot spare the time to get to know every student in a large ashram, let alone in a global setting, so they cannot be sure what you may know that might appear to be a challenge but which on closer inspection may really be more agreeable.

This is sad.

We credit only two living spiritual teachers for their assistance with our journey, one has passed away, but leaves behind a sound, loving legacy. This was Guru Bawa Muhayaideen, a Sufist Muslim from Sri Lanka, our father converted to Islam a few years after meeting this teacher.

Our other teacher is in poor health but still has a presence online, mostly through the members of his ashram. He is called Baba Ram Das.

While we lived in Bawa's ashram in Philadelphia six months and attended his discourses for most of 3 years, and are grateful to Bawa for his love and wisdom, we credit Ram Das with a huge portion of what we have learned about the nature of reality and its creation.

Alas, we attended only one discourse with Ram Das, he led us on an astral journey following that discourse that we did not return from for 7 years.  It took us another 25-30 years to learn how to begin to describe what we learned on that journey.

We are rarely good with riddles, this one is new to us, but we would guess it speaks about spirit or soul.

We believe we have our own philosopher's stone, but its not the sort of thing easily exhibited.

<nods re your heart-attack>
We might agree with you that you permanently passed across death's door at that time, although you phrase this in context with a movie we only recently became familiar with.


Your job sounds dangerous and stressful, but we doubt you need worry too much.

We understand if you feel pride regarding your prison's dancers. We see several dark things associated with them, we hope you do not mind if we elaborate upon two of them here.

First there is an appearance of coerced behavior that might be mis-interpreted by some as slavery.

Second there is the possibility that your country will need a stronger army or militia and these dancers are being well-conditioned for such a future purpose should the need ever arise, may it never.

The rest hovers like a cloud and is not seen clearly; were we not more certain of your character and inner fortitude we might worry for you.

With regard to substances:

Ill health has forced us to give up our hand-rolled cigarettes. We were sad to end this habit which we had since spring of 2007 or so. We quit within a year or two after our heart attack, not because of our cardiac issues, but because our asthma forced us to quit (again).

In all we have quit tobacco 8 times now, the first 7 times were between ages 16 to 24 or thereabouts, (um do you suffer gout?) we had quit for 20 years before taking up the habit again on advice from a spirit guide.

Oddly enough, a doctor once prescribed tobacco for us. He was a naturopath physician with a radio show.


Like yourself, we have diabetes; our diabetes was diagnosed in the year 2000 or so as a by-product of our physician trying to learn why our blood clots. Since 2000 or so we have had 4 major clotting incidents, the first nearly cost us our right arm, the second was a stroke, the third was a dvt, and the fourth was our heart-attack.

We prefer not to drink alcohol more than occasionally. We used to drink quite a lot, particularly when we were only 14 years old. You can find that tale on our blog with the title: Adventures in the UK - Pubcrawling

Sorry can't get the link, AT&T may have cut off our access through google, not sure what will happen when we try to post this...

We do not like coffee or most teas; Oolong tea may be the only tea we really enjoy, aside from peppermint, spearmint, or maybe chamomile. We avoid nearly all caffeinated beverages and products.


We are not exactly sober; on advice from friends and a doctor in San Francisco in 2008 we smoke marijuana daily for chronic pain that we have had for nearly 35 years now. This pain is a daily and nightly torment that resists conventional painkillers either prescription, or over-the-counter.

The marijuana seems to help by enhancing dissociation between mind and body.

There is a strong possibility that our pain is a conversion issue due to coinciding with the 4th anniversary of Alina's death.  however, recent changes in the diagnosis or description of fibromyalgia have convinced us we should try Lyrica; it appears we have already failed to be helped by an analogous drug so our insurer will not permit us to try the more expensive Lyrica. Under the old description we felt it unlikely we had fibromyalgia, but now we suspect or perhaps hope that we may have been mistaken.


We are currently very wicked with our diet due to compulsory eating behaviors stemming from childhood issues, and perhaps also from poverty. Our tolerance for food has made it difficult to find anything we enjoy eating, let alone anything healthy, although we do still like a good curry or biriyani.

Alas, most of the curry shops here are either Indian or Pakistani, there are no restaurants we know of with the Sri Lankan style curries we used to eat when we were with Guru Bawa's fellowship from 1976 to 1979 or so.

We find we do like a green Thai chicken curry now and then.

We were a very difficult child with regard to eating. We nearly starved to death as an infant. We were declared a 'failure to thrive' baby; we were pronounced very likely to die so our father began force-feeding us.

We can still remember the terrible sensations of the hard plastic syringe with which our father forced food past our tongue and down our throat.  We fought him fiercely we hated to eat anything at all then.

Perhaps the worse part was really our frustration with being forced to eat.

Then, on a very long acid trip, our food insisted we should not eat it. All we could manage to eat for several weeks were a single piece of dry toast, a hard boiled egg, a bottle of beer, and a bottle of grape juice each day, while working as a carpenter.

We were an ova-lacto vegetarian for ten years beginning with our attendance at Bawa's discourses.  We flirt with returning to a vegetarian style diet when our revulsion to meat products becomes too severe.

We might eat better if we could afford a food service that catered to our compulsory limitations well enough.

Tina is beyond trying to cook for us more than occasionally, she suffers migraines while going to school and working, nor are we able to help her with chores due to our chronic pain.  She is a very competent cook who often produces good curries, but she is still learning and experimenting and sometimes creates startling flavors.  We are eating something resembling a biriyani today, its quite tasty, we enjoy eating it, but we feel a need to avoid it that makes it difficult to serve ourselves even though the food is easily accessible.

Most of our food is either snacks or frozen stuff we can prepare with the microwave.

Oh yes, last year we quit all dairy and have had significant improvement with our post nasal drip that may be worth never eating cheese again, or eating it only very, very rarely, on pizza!  Our post nasal drip was drowning us, particularly in our sleep.  It still produces a very sour stomach at times.

We have allergies for every season and perhaps for every year of our life.  The sinus headaches are extremely painful at times but fortunately the acute episodes have been rarer since returning to this area.  

We had a very good surgeon operate on our sinuses twice.  

In his own opinion he failed, he apologized and cautioned us that it was unlikely anyone else could complete the operation safely.  He became afraid to proceed because of extremely high bone density.

To his credit, things are improved, we recovered our sense of smell for one thing.

We hope you do not normally suffer from depression.

We are all too familiar with depression, having had this problem from a very early age. However, we are doing much better for the moment.

We often think we have the problem licked for good only to find it returning.  We have written a few very generalized articles regarding the possible usefulness of so-called 'mental illnesses' for healing traumatic memories, particularly the psychological or emotional sort.  

You can find these articles on our website here:

Articles about healing


Aside from depression we are diagnosed a multiple personality, now called dissociative identity disorder.

We have experienced many awakenings that appear to kundalini awakenings.  The one in 2006 was the strongest ever.  Alas, we always seem to go back to sleep.  

The euphoria of these awakenings is intense.

We are very grateful not to be diagnosed bipolar.

Our awakenings seem to have a sort of lasting cumulative effect.  Perhaps it is only the intense highs like the euphoria that seem to wane or completely pass away until the next awakening.


We have had two psychiatric hospitalizations; nine months (1978-1979), and one month in 2005.

We learned a lot.

Most psychiatrists now yield to our experience with their medications and agree not to medicate us.

The anti-depressants promote psychoses, the anti-psychotics render us incapable of doing or feeling anything; this is much worse than being depressed.

Some of the anti-psychotics make us very vulnerable to possession by the spirits of living people who then require our services to help them heal.

Mellarill was one of the drugs that made us particularly vulnerable to this sort of possession.

As for our bouts with psychoses, we have a number of seemingly delusional alternate realities we may 'snap' into when triggered.

One trigger is flying. When we fly, particularly passing though the airports, we identify as an astronaut returning to earth from tens of thousands of years journeying through space to the planets of distant star systems.

We enjoy that one; although it seems a little risky to be a bit psychotic on airplanes we manage ok.

A worse one is when we identify as Alina's murderer.

We assure you nothing could be further from the truth, but the guilt we feel for failing to save her is immense. Consequently this ideation took hold and developed into a psychoses we sometimes experience.

That one really hurts. We imagine we are really locked away in a padded cell and that everything since her death has really been a delusion.

Almost as scary as solipsism that one is...

In another psychotic state that has us believing we are shut away in a hospital bed we are a Vietnam era veteran severely brain-damaged in battle.

Of all our remembered 'past lives' this is one of a very few incarnations in which we have not been a soldier at war; even as a female we have spent time on battlefields giving comfort to those who can be saved and dispatching those who cannot be saved before they can suffer any longer.

War, war never changes, nor does our fascination with both war and peace.

May peace prevail. We are quite sure it will, at least in some universes; we plan to follow those timelines and stay clear of what may be the imminent collapse of our current civilizations.

Beyond mentioning these psychoses, we are in possession of many other apparent follies that seem real enough to ourselves.

But then, all of life may be a folly depending on how you look at things... <wink>

love, the Grigs...

Comment by Krsnaraja Melvin on September 30, 2016 at 6:28am

Dear Grigori Rho Gharveyn, 

It`s quite fascinating to hear from you about channeling. I posted a thread regarding the topic at yogananda.net & I was severely criticized by the members of SRF/YSS there because Paramahansa Yogananda, the master of Kriya yoga did not recommend it. Four days ago, the moderators there banned me from further posting in their community page. My profile name in there is krsnaraja. I became a member in that message board/forum since December 2007. Maybe it`s the Divine Spirit`s arrangement I will focus more this time my energies to the uplifting of Temple Illuminatus. 


With regards to the subject on hermeticism, there`s a puzzle I want you to solve posted at spiritual forum me. uk where I use to participate in their message board. The admin banned me there for registering a double account. The moderators wanted me to have only one account but I insisted to have two. So they banned my krsnaraja and rajakrsna accounts. Here`s the puzzle:

"The key to life and death is everywhere to be found, but if you do not find it in your own house, you will find it nowhere. 
Yet, it is before everyone’s eyes; no one can live without it; everyone has used it. 
The poor usually possess more of it than the rich; children play with it in the streets. 
The meek and uneducated esteem it highly, but the privileged and learned often throw it away.
 It is the only thing from which the Philosopher’s Stone can be prepared, and without it, no noble metal can ever be created."  


Talking about heart attack. I suffered one on September 11, 2007. I was driving my second hand car Kia Avella 2000 model sedan when I was hit. I was that time consumed three bottles of ice cold San Miguel Pale Pilsen beer. While cruising, I lighted a stick, inhaled it very deep. I started to cough severely. felt my chest and back tightened. There was pain between by shoulder blades. I stopped the car because I was perspiring, weak. I felt for my pulse. It was faint. Immediately seeped into my mind I suffered a heart attack.

Three hours later, I was taken to the hospital`s emergency room. An EKG was taken. The resident physician on duty read it and declared I suffered an acute inferior wall myocardial infarction. All the time I was talking to my son and wife who was beside me though I was not suffering from any of it. When my cardiologist arrived, he instructed the resident physician to inject me streptokinase to dissolve the clot, morphine and benadryl, an antihistamine. Even it I was sedated I was still chatting inside the coronary care unit. An hour later, the physician after reading my latest EKG tracing told me there was revascularization and reperfusion of my blocked coronary artery. Four days later I was discharged from the hospital and made to recuperate for two weeks before I go back to work, as prison doctor to the internationally famous CPDRC dancing inmates

The heart attack gave me insight as to my future status. I went into a depression. I continue to smoke, drink alcohol and coffee unmindful I will suffer again a heart attack. Yet it did not come. I even hypothesized that I was one of those who survived Final Destination. That as long the one ahead is not killed, no matter what you do attempting to kill yourself, it wont happen. I realized that it was my other self, " Krsnaraja " is never killed. He survived along with me in that Final Destination.


By the way, I am sober now. I stopped smoking. I stopped drinking coffee. I only drink alcohol during occasions. I am more careful with my diet. I found I have diabetes. It was the hypertension that caused my heart attack.

Comment by Grigori Rho Gharveyn on September 30, 2016 at 4:59am

um, we just found a way around AT&T to this site ;^) let's see if we will be allowed to post this, hang on!


Dear brother!
This may seem very odd, but you are our senior by only 1 month and 7 days... we are also born in the same year as yourself, just a couple of weeks before we were due to arrive.

We totally understand the way anything associated with the digits 1957 will get our attention and influence us, so we understand how these numbers may get your attention and appear very significant to you as well.

We apologize for the Indian accent in our head that gives your words a voice as we read them or as we write to you; this has led us astray.

We do not recall the accents of people we have met from the Philippines.


Your comprehension of the Vedas is very appreciated; the mystery of how you can discuss the Vedas in language clearer to ourselves than we are accustomed to is solved now.

Your interest in Hinduism is deeply appreciated as well.

We have suffered under the yoke of our mother-tongue too long. Our mother was an English teacher while she studied in college; it has taken awhile for us to learn to understand English better; we still feel inept at times in spite of how much we like to write.

We do not mean to pick a quarrel, we hope you will forgive us if some of our ideas regarding reincarnation may be quite different from your own; you may be the ideal person with whom to have a discussion regarding the ideas we have come to believe about reincarnation, especially in light of our beliefs about time...

We hope to enjoy that discussion with you, but first we would like to derail some mis-conceptions you may have regarding our intent. What you seem to think we mean to do regarding Tina and Alina was a bit of a shock to us at first, as we had nothing of the sort in mind. We hesitate to describe exactly what we do intend because it may still seem a shocking proposition, we haven't worked out the details to our satisfaction, we always hold something back from ourselves so we shall just have to wait and see.

What we had in mind was a bit the opposite of your suggestion, we propose to journey with Tina across time to be united as four beings in two bodies. Tina seems well prepared in one sense, but this is still a disturbing proposition; Tina slides away from apprehending the entire concept so we still need to make things clearer before we can ask for her consent.

Tina is bound to her mortality so we would not expect these events to unfold before her natural death in any case; plenty of time to work out the details and raise a child or three. Tina expects us to be gone before her because we are her senior by almost 16 years. The trickiest bit may be to get her to value her own life well enough to continue without us should we really pass away before her.

The coincidences between Tina's life, our own life, and Alina's are amazing but difficult to talk about. Tina is almost like a child we might have had with Alina. It gets very strange and becomes more personal than Tina would like us to speak about so we would prefer to stick to less sensitive topics for now.

We have died in this lifetime many times; our returns to this lifetime are just a little bit 'next-door' to the universes in which we have died; in those universes where we have died the people who loved us still mourn for us if they have not learned about their own immortality by experiencing it.

Actually, immortality is a bit of a misnomer, its really eternal life we speak of.

Deja vu here...

We met Alina in high school

The fates took some odd turns to bring us together. The turns that drew us together with Tina have been just as odd. The details can wait.

We met Alina in our senior year.

We cannot recall whether this was before or after we discoursed at school on topics related to metaphysics and parapsychology for perhaps 2 months, for perhaps 40 to 50 hours in all...

Our discourses were channeled. A pity they were never recorded, but we would most likely have lost the recordings anyway.

At first it seemed as if someone else was speaking to the class and we were just listening in, sharing the experience along with everyone else. We can't remember when we realized that we were the person speaking; it still seemed like someone else was speaking.

Now we feel it was our 'future' selves speaking to our 'past' selves; we now believe we were probably channeling ourselves from the future.

Our classes were led by two teachers who had a very loose course outline with a discussion format.

Our teachers led each class with a short introduction of the day's topic; then students were expected to initiate dialogues that would break up into informal group presentations of ideas regarding the day's topic.

Fair enough, especially since so little can be said to be known about metaphysics or parapsychology, even among many so-called experts, including ourselves.

In those days the word 'channeling' had not yet come into use for this experience we were having. All we knew was that we would seem to lose consciousness and drift away so that all we were aware of was a speaking voice who discoursed for each class reliably, without fail. The debate at the end of each discourse was more like an excited rabble, people's minds were on fire, much as our own mind still often seems to be.

The class size grew to over 40 as new students joined in; perhaps a quarter of all the students in our small public school attended then.  (American public, not the British sort, our school was free to attend. paid by the state, but most students had to  win a lottery to get in; we were an exception of sorts.)


We were still very socially inept, still a little bit chubby, and still pretty clueless about girls when we met Alina. You can learn more details from our Temple Illuminatus blog:

Alina, In the Beginning, Courtship

It was a very exciting time.

Without Alina's postmortem help we might never have remembered many events from our childhood, events in which we observed both resurrection and reincarnation many, many times, as well as visiting with as many of ourselves shortly after their passings and returns.

We were like a character in Frank Herbert's Dune novels; we were like someone trained by the Bene Gesserit to hear the voices of their own past Reverend Mothers speaking within themselves. Except, we may more closely resemble the protoganist, Paul Mau'dib, rather than a Reverend Mother.

We speak about some of these childhood matters in a largish fragment of our childhood autobiography:

A Child's Tales

We are stuck at the end of this tale with a 5-year-old version of ourselves blocking the way; this work has not been continued for some time. If we cannot get mighty Ganesh's help we may have to jump around our 5-year-old; we seem to need our 5-year-old's consent to continue our tale.


We apologize for referring you to so much reading, but we have faith in our writing craft, we believe it will please you and entice you to read more.

Or so we may hope.

It is a difficult matter to discuss how we were raised in any detail, largely we had to look out for ourselves in spite of belonging to a family that should have prospered had things been less bizarre.

Our mother was suffering from a sort of rebound hostility towards religion that she has still carried to this day, so far as we may know; certainly she still bore this hostility when last we spoke with her. Consequently, we were raised partly Atheist, partly agnostic, partly Christian, and just a little bit Jewish.

Our uncle Steve had been a prominent and wealthy Jewish statesman. Our Jewish neighbors were very nearly the only people we were safe to visit with or play with; too many of the local boys were nightmares who would terrorize us, chase us down, and beat us without mercy at nearly every opportunity.

Our beatings were clearly with the consent of many of our bullies' parents; we sometimes heard them encourage their boys to beat us up so it was useless to have our parents try to intervene, that is, if we could get them to bother to even try to do so.

Anyways, this socially programmed us with a strong hostility towards Christianity, and particularly towards Catholics; this hostility turned out very oddly, but also somewhat predictably. As of recently, we have healed much of our resentment towards Christians, Christian religions, and especially Catholics and Catholicism.

Have no fear brother, we would not hold any of your religious convictions against you.

Tina was raised Catholic; we get on well enough with her family, we seem well loved among them.

A good many of our girlfriends were raised Catholic; certainly more were than were not.

We believe we love the people of all religions now, including all of their religions. We hold no fault with any of them in spite of awareness of many faults. The value of any and all religions seems to exceed their faults as far as we may be concerned.

The faults within ourselves concern us more.

We believe we follow the occult path of Hermetic brotherhood and extend it to everyone we meet who shows any interest. We are not an initiate, nor are we an affiliate; this is a path we rarely have an opportunity to share with anyone, we are very solitary in the context of any occult society.

We sometimes hope for fellowship but we rarely meet anyone who can share our understanding and not walk away.

c'este la vie...

In Hermeticism the process of alchemy burns away the inner faults revealing the true person. It remains to be seen who we may really be; we think all of our many voices will remain, regardless.

We are told we will die soon, perhaps we must quarrel for another extension of this life; we do not want to leave Tina bereft. We do not want to leave Tina at all.

Our death should not be soon, with our last change of contract we were given to age 83, but the demands of our work have caused us to die sooner than this many times.

We have ceased deliberately killing ourselves, but our shadow will take us whenever it must and then damn-all unless we can quickly mend matters on our own.

Our heart attack a few years ago did not surprise us; as always, there were several odd things about it.

We did die, technically, or at least as far as Tina is concerned.

Complete cardiac fibrillation it was.

We laughed.

When they began cutting off our jewelry in preparation to defibrillate us with those electric-shock paddles we made them stop and wait patiently while we carefully removed our jewelry piece-by-piece. There were at least a half-dozen bracelets, five or six necklaces, and three strands of Mardi-Gras beads.

Our doctors and nurses were very puzzled that we were fearless and in such good humor.

At least we did not feel compelled to step in front of a bus.

All said and done, studies of our heart revealed only one artery clogged with cholesterol well enough to catch a blood clot. Our blood clots itself more-or-less naturally, thanks to an anti-body our immune system produces that attacks our red blood cells.

We reckon we'll fix that by-and-by...

There was just one small chance the clot would catch precisely where it did and not cripple or kill us instead.


We had told our family and friends that in one year's time we would stop our heart. This was the best we could understand ourselves at that time, so that is what we told the people closest to us. We became aware of this and began telling our folk Halloween night in 2008, our heart attack was early October the next year.

Close enuff fer guv'mnt werk eh?

It turned out to be more like 11 months, but the element of self-surprise is often necessary. We were on the phone with a bank agent when our heart attack began; we patiently concluded our business and got off the phone after assuring the agent we were satisfied with her service.

Tina called for an ambulance.

So our prediction was coming true, we were elated. We knew we would 'die' briefly and then return, our youngest sister had made us promise not to die before we were in a hospital and all was going well.

She thought she was humoring us.

Nonetheless it was good advice.

We needed Tina to witness as much of these events as possible for herself; for Tina there may be no higher authority than a doctor's.

Did we leave a universe behind us in which we were never resuscitated?

Yes, but the Tinas in these local universes we currently inhabit feel only a small fraction of the grief she feels in those universes in which we were not revived.

The thing is, we are still here, and mayhaps we always will be, at least, from our own points of view, as nearly as we can tell. We often doubt we will ever entirely vanish from the earth in this incarnation. In many universes, certainly, but in all of them? Nay, never.

No need to knock on wood.

That is our collective's immortality, of sorts. We may die all the time, but we will always reawaken in this lifetime, so far as we know, because that has been our experience so far.

Boy will be surprised if we do die forever. <smiles>

When it comes to having to die, if Tina cannot embrace her own eternal life without first experiencing her death then we will simply wait until she passes naturally to begin.

However, if by some miracle Tina understands and consents to our intentions, then we may leave parts of ourselves behind in these incarnations and pack the best parts for our journeys home to Alina. Tina may not have as many 'spares' within herself as we have, but we are sure there are enough of her to work things out equitably for all.

Or so we believe.

Don't hold your breath brother, this project may take awhile.

Perhaps now, dear friend, you may better understand how easily we may accept you at your word that you are a reincarnation of Martin de Porres.

We are familiar with a Saint Martin de Porres mission in San Francisco that provides one of the nicest soup kitchens in town, at least by reputation among homeless and poor folk.

We usually went to Glide Memorial Church or Saint Anthony's for free meals, we may never have eaten at Saint Martin de Porres' soup kitchen, or only some of us may have in alternate universes from this local family of universes we now seem to be incarnate among.

We know Tina meant to go there, perhaps before we met her, but we think she never did.

Have you spotted where some of our quarrels with some theories regarding reincarnation may be?

Do you hear the theme music of the Twilight Zone tv show like a cloak around us, pervading our auras?

Only our shadow knows; our own poor fragmented memories may often seem unreliable at best, if not utterly and entirely fantastical.

love, the Grigs...

Comment by Grigori Rho Gharveyn on September 30, 2016 at 12:59am

Comment by Krsnaraja Melvin on September 29, 2016 at 10:42pm

Dear Grigori Rho Gharveyn,

Our continues conversation with the transcendent is getting to be  deep and interesting. By the way, I am not really an Indian. I come from the Philippines. Our national language is Filipino ( Tagalog ). But I speak the Visayan dialect in the place I was born, Cebu City, Cebu, an island in the Visayas. The Philippines is an archipelago with roughly 7,100 islands. She`s divided into three major islands, Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. There are so many languages spoken by Filipinos depending on what major island the native comes from. If one comes from Luzon, he speaks Filipino-Tagalog, etc. If from the Visayas, he speaks Visayan. In Mindanao, one either speaks Filipino-Tagalog, Visayan or Tausug, a Muslim dialect. Majority of us however can speak and write English because it`s part of our educational system to study English from kindergarten, high-school, college and post-graduate.

Actually my religion since birth is Catholic. It was only in early 1/3 of my life I began to find interest in Hinduism. After discovering that the Sr Sto Nino of Cebu, an image we worshiped is connected to the Hindu God, Krishna. It was here I was able to understand the science of reincarnation and karma. In fact, I am  convinced I am the reincarnation of St Martin de Porres of Lima, Peru. Just by studying the dates of the saint`s birth and death. My date of birth is November 3, the day St Martin died. The year of my birth is 1957. The year St Martin was born is 1579. The number correlation has convinced me along that line. But that`s all over now. I have come to realize what`s important is live the present and not forgetting the past. The future comes from you make/do in the present.

With your case. Alina ( deceased ), Tina ( your girlfriend ) and ( Grigori ) you want to be three in one. So to accommodate Tina into Alina`s life, the former has to constantly communicate with the latter. Tina to my understanding is the vessel from where Alina comes alive for you, I guess.. For Alina to connect, she needs Tina. & you want a child from Alina through Tina? Yes, it`s possible. I even think our grand daughter Atasha, 5 year old, who is with us is the reincarnation of my grand mother, Rebecca ( father`s side ). And my mother Julie who died last January 6, 2016 reincarnated recently as the newly born daughter of my niece, Mary Joyce. I communicate with my grand mother Rebecca and my mother Julie in my dreams. How is this possible? Because of Atasha, our grand daughter who maybe have retained memories of her past as Rebecca in her subconscious. While also get to connect with my mother Julie lately when the daughter of my niece, Marie Joyce, was born. Prior to that after my mother died, there was none.

People who get to read this think maybe I am mad. Well, it`s better to be thinking sort of this particular way than go into catatonic states ( trance ) of one practicing, " Aummm...Aummm...Aummmm.."  Kriya Yoga.

Comment by Grigori Rho Gharveyn on September 29, 2016 at 7:12pm

Hi Krsnaraja Melvin,

Thank you for sharing your story of a reunion that seems to have transcended time to bring yourself and your friend together again.  

The world is indeed a mysterious place, if we allow it to be such.  

Too often we allow our thoughts to misguide us and we may misapprehend opportunities the world presents.  If only your eyes had been following someone or something that held your attention you might have walked by your friend without noticing her.  What an amazing thing it is to be guided by your own heart to the person you desired to meet.

In our case the matter at hand may be a bit trickier.

The friend we intend to be reunited with killed herself many years ago.  She has haunted us daily for many years and has taught us much about the nature of reality that western concepts rigidly exclude from what they believe is possible.

It may be the case that eastern mysticism can allow what we believe and intend to accomplish, but we are poorly grounded in the cultures and worlds beyond the English language.  

We think it may be the case that the indigenous people of Australia might have understood what we will do, but we cannot know.  We can only hope that their culture remains strong enough to maintain their native wisdom in the face of the over-powering European influence of the colonists there.

We are always grateful for the opportunity to maintain a good dialogue, especially when we can cross many social boundaries of cultures and places.  There are so many challenges to the exchange of ideas.

We are a poor scholar, but that may be to our advantage.

We are very grateful for your grasp of English, we presume your native tongue is Hindi or something unfamiliar to us from the region of India.

We are quite certain that languages shape minds with an influence that makes it is difficult to see clearly beyond their own cultural spheres...

We are a poor scholar, but that may be to our advantage.

We have managed to drive an impossibly long distance in so short a time that it can only be explained by teleportation or time travel.  There have been several such experiences, but this is the only one where we may have a witness; our current girlfriend, Tina, was constantly talking with us by cell phone and tracking our progress.  It may be that her desire to have us return to her facilitated this strange transcendental experience.

We did what we could to save our earlier friend, Alina, from killing herself but we were too inexperienced and too ignorant to help her adequately then.

We hate to think that her death was a requirement of some sort, except that we would never have become the person we are today had we managed to save her then.

The person we will be when we return to her will be ourselves.  

There is more than enough room in the person we were then to accommodate us as we are now, and there is strong evidence of our future presence in our past then, we believe we channeled ourselves from the future regularly then.

Some people have said this will be an evil thing to do, to possess our own body in the past, but we are certain we will be welcome; it would not be so much a sort of 'demonic' possession as a continuation of the sharing we have had with ourselves regarding our bodies for a very long time that began with our childhood or earlier.

This idea of a reunion with ourselves in the past seems natural to us in spite of transcending time and space.

The trickiest bit will be finding accommodations for Tina.  We do not regard her as an obstacle, nor is Tina our obligation, she is our lover, a companion whom we would never abandon.

Perhaps Alina will accommodate her; it seems Alina has consented to this but only time will tell, we must purge very well before we can make such a journey together.

Before then we hope to raise a child with Tina, perhaps three in all.

We know what we believe is possible, the problem as we see it is more a case of 'is it allowable?'  

We must transcend our own inner limitations.  We have confidence we have already done this, but at this time that accomplishment would still be described as a future event even though we have reports from ourselves that inform us that we have succeeded.

Many people may call us mad, but they haven't had our experiences to draw upon.

We know that everything that can be conceived is possible.

In part, we credit this knowledge to a concept we believe is well expressed in India's cultures, a concept which we know to be true, and this is: namaste.

Enjoy brother!

love, the Grigs...

Comment by Krsnaraja Melvin on September 27, 2016 at 9:05pm

My dear Grigori Rho Gharveyn. Thank you for the comments you gave here. The readers will really appreciate what we  discussed. Further more. I have experienced what I perceive as time portals opening up constantly for us to give a chance to meet someone we use to know. 

There was this girl I befriended and got to associate closely in one episode of my life. Then as time went by, we never got to meet & talk again. I changed my mobile number. So probably she will never get to contact me nor I get to ask her for an appointment. Yet, from time to time, I got to think of her because she would appear in the screen of my mind. Or when I go to this particular eatery, I feel sort of nostalgia because we once dined in this place.

It was one fine day. When I decided to go to this mall I regularly frequent coming over. There is an internet cafe where I spend 1-2 hours surfing the net, update my facebook. I logged-out and went to the basement where I parked my car. While I was inside my car, I felt the need to go to the restroom wanting to relieve my bladder. I went back to the mall. As I was approaching this cubicle selling phone and gadgets, I bumped into her! Here she was. I could not believe this girl was there in front of me. Like a time portal that opened up for us.

This is what I realized.

We are walking in the streets, or shopping inside a department store. Not knowing there are people we know also going there and yet never bump into them. It could be an ex or classmate. For some weird reasons we suddenly get to see somebody like it was arranged. A time portal opens & there is that person, an acquaintance, a dear close friend . We even get a goose-bump if that one is long departed.

Comment by Grigori Rho Gharveyn on September 27, 2016 at 3:37pm

Thank you Krsnaraja Melvin,

There is indeed a sense in which every body might be said to be a universe to it's dependents.  We do not think the physicists' description of universes agrees with this meaning.  The meaning you use here is elegant and brings us back to the nesting Russian dolls metaphor.  Such universes as you describe from Hindu scriptures appear to have dependencies, the sort the physicists describe may also have dependencies, but if so we have failed to find this in their work.

Studying Timothy Leary's 8-circuit model of consciousness suggests that with activation of the seventh circuit a person will begin to experience this internal 'universe', they will understand the individual cells right down to their DNA, the relationships of all the cells, and the health of their physical form in its entirety, and may then make changes to improve their health and the quality of their physical form.

Doubtless your scriptures indicate something similar, as we believe they were part of the source material used to develop concepts related to this model.

We were speaking of universes in a different sense, trying to elaborate on a concept of time that is not a property of any universe or its parts, where time can only be expressed by each observer as they attract successive universes to themselves to be experienced.

We tried to describe how our consciousness seems to leap from one universe to the next.

While it appears to be the case that the leaps between universes are instantaneous, it also appears to be the case that there is a very brief moment of lag for the observer because their conscious awareness fails to keep up with the changes; they hold onto past moments while the present seems to constantly wait for them to catch up.

We try to remember that before modern physics there were many other explanations for time, the universe(s), and their attendant phenomena, and that people got along just fine with those earlier models and even excelled to create great civilizations.

In this context we try to see matters as dependent upon each individual's unique perceptions of reality.  In this sense, then every person, every being is, as you say, their own universe, but we would go a step further and say that their universes are multiplied along several dimensions one being their interactions with all other universes of all other beings, and another being their memories of other times that represent universes they experienced in their pasts, both their own, and those of others.

Time is a difficult critter to nail down and inspect.  Like trying to hold water in your hands, it slips away, so that only a little can be held at any moment before that too must slip away.

Time, on the one hand seems to be contracted to a single point, such that all time exists in every moment, including all past and future moments.

On the other hand, Time appears to extend infinitely, or nearly infinitely, with the past appearing to be a singular limit fixed at the moment of creation with a big bang, but apparently open-ended with regard to the future where there may be no limit at all, unless each universe must come to an end, such that there is a moment when all universes must come to an end together.

We see this as if it were real, this ending of all universes, but we think with each ending there is always a new beginning as well.  It appears that consciousness makes the leap, transcending the deaths of all universes and re-emerges in the next creation, imprinting itself upon the new creation and then guiding that creation to recreate its earlier status.

Thus universes may come and go but that which we really are abides in all of them and finds the moments it wishes to express and carries on as if nothing immense had just happened, blissfully unaware as we are reborn in new bodies that may carry our lives past the moment of our death.

While this sounds like reincarnation, we take this a step further so that it more resembles resurrection.

In our experience, no matter how often we die we appear to recreate this physical form and then carry on as if we had never died, shifting past the moment of our death to the next universe in which we remain alive.

But this is personal experience we share, we do not know how many people might have found such experiences in their lives, deaths, and restorations to life.  Few people seem to remember such events, and their memories appear to be subject to change as they try to adapt them to what they believe rather than accept that their memory of recently dying could be true.

The few people we meet who acknowledge recently dying seem to forget very quickly.

Our attachments with the past seem to bind us to definite, particular futures.  This is the matter we study because we wish to change this nature, to open wide the doors of time so that we may be reunited with someone who has died.  We sense this has already happened, but that our own ignorance prevents us from experiencing it.

Thank you for your ongoing help Krsnaraja Melvin, we are very grateful for your efforts to share your insights and understanding regarding such matters with ourselves.


love, the Grigs

Comment by Krsnaraja Melvin on September 27, 2016 at 5:59am

My friend Grigori Rho Gharveyn. Talking of universes.

In the scriptures ( Hindu ) it says, the universe is virat-rupa. The cosmic individual representing the universe. Since there are countless universes in infinite space, there are also countless cosmic individuals, each representing a particular universe. In one universe, there are solar systems. In this solar system, there is a planet we call earth. Inhabited by countless individual living entities. Each entity in itself is a universe to countless micro-organisms, cells occupying one living entity.

In other words, man is one universe because inside occupies countless of microbes and cells which to an individual microbe/cell the body of the living entity is a universe.

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