It's been so very long since I've visited the Temple. My health over the last few years has been worsening dramatically, and writing online, even from bed, takes effort and concentration that can be challenging for me.

I wish I had more to give, and giving has always been what I have gravitated towards, it's a natural and easy inclination.

Now I'm doing something instead which is not easy for me, and very much in contrast to my usual nature.. which is asking for help,…

I went to the breast clinic today, they did a mammogram and ultrasound but couldn't get the biopsy part done on the same day because I'd had ibuprofen, and they want to do a core biopsy, and it's a blood thinner and the breast is very vascular, too much bleeding potential.

However, the Dr. says the biopsy is a formality they have to do, but benign or malignant, this lump has to come out. So I will be scheduling surgery as well.

My next appt. is with my family Dr. on Oct 26, to…

Can't sleep with health issues on my mind, and when things are rattling around in my brain, writing them out seems to help at times, so here's to hoping a purge will lead to me being able to sleep.



Well, my fubared body seems to be growing new lumps. The last lumps were a few years ago now of big rapidly growing uterine fibroids, and resulted in a hysterectomy.



Now it seems I have another new rapidly growing lump, but in my left breast. Joy (sarcasm), so here's to hoping…

Oh you know the drill... there is a box, and in this box, there is a kitten... or is there?

When it comes down to belief, faith, whatever you wish to call it, I believe what we find in our box, is whatever we believe we will find in our box.

To those who believe the box holds that miraculous entity, oh kitten, lo and behold, when they open the box, the proof is there for them, voila, kitten. To those who believe the box is empty, the proof is there for them, the box is empty.…

It's been a long time since I've been on my own website... to be honest, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to come back to it. For those that don't know me, I'm the owner/creator of the Temple, though really I think of it as a co-creation belonging to all it's membership.

My health issues, a very severe form of myalgic encephalomyelitis - what is poorly named 'Chronic Fatigue' in some countries, had me so weak and ill I could barely move at all. Bed bound & going out only…

Whatever you celebrate, whenever you celebrate it, it's always a good reason to celebrate!…

There come times, of greater awareness of the world around us, that sometimes are so vast in scope that I feel almost on the verge of madness, or that my head or the whole world will split open with the force of it.

Moving .. thought.. into places beyond the scope of language and symbols my mind has for it, but instinctively knows are there, hidden beneath the specific illusions of the senses we create in order to experience and manifest our environments.. which are really one and the…

All I really have to offer, Is my authenticity.

I created the Temple, because I wanted a place like this to exist.. I had a vision for a community that I wanted to be a part of, that I couldn't find. So I decided I would try to build it.

I decided to put any fears and insecurities behind, and devote myself to focusing on doing what I love, making friends, sharing with people, welcoming them, and just being authentic, and encouraging others to do the same.

In our…

Something I've said many ways and many times, but I'll keep saying it, because there will always be people needing to hear it.

Compassion for the human animal, since most people love animals, like cats and/or dogs, I find it's a helpful analogy.

For instance if I say "I love dogs, unconditionally, passionately, I'm advocate for and…

Somehow my original post got deleted, so this is a re-post, unfortunately I had to make it less detailed than the original. It's also going to be a lot less fluid and with more typos... lol. But there you have it. Same basic concepts getting conveyed.. it's essentially a copy of a letter I sent to a friend here.

There are dark elements here, yes. There are people who identify with what are traditionally thought of by many as 'evil' or 'negative' forces. People who identify as…

If you've noticed a shift in my activity on the site, or are just getting a different vibe from me, you're not imagining it. Not unexpectedly to me, my health issues continue to slowly progress, and even though the changes are small, they add up.

My ability to read as much of what goes on on the site has been diminished, as has my ability to respond back. I'm still busy busy doing site related stuff happily all day long, but it's shifted to more of what I call 'mouse work' things I…

These are the unedited rejects/out-takes from yesterday off the webcam for me playing around and getting some updated avatar and profile pics since I've been growing my hair out.  :)

I usually crop them, up the contrast a bit and take out pillow background that shows I'm actually laying down for these. lol. Basically sitting up is very tiring for me with my health issues, I lay down with the webcam on top of me all day, so basically you can see in some of these my knuckles on the…

Stepping out my back door of my little 1950's house

onto the old peeling deck

It's been hung with home-made green glass lanterns

made from old florists vases I've hung with twine and sewn beads on…

I wrote this as a reply in the forum on a discussion on cult activity, and wanted to post it as a blog, as this is information I feel strongly about in regards to negotiating compassion, love and non-judgement toward others.

To have unconditional love and acceptance for all of humanity, being non-judgmental, and allowing others their personal freedom, doesn't mean…

Last weekend I was taking it pretty easy, my family set up the hammock in the backyard so I could hang out with them while they were gardening.

Just because you're 'bed' bound doesn't mean you're stuck laying around in a bed... I cruise between beds, couches, hammocks, hot tubs, and have been known to lounge on the ground... though getting back up from that is not…

A day out... I don't put on clothes much these days, so when I do, it's an event. lol. In this case, I needed to go to the Dr.'s to get my CPAP machine for the sleep apnea and go to the mall drugstore... So, an occasion, to put on clothes.

The trip wore me out, and thankfully I won't have to go back for a while, someone else can drop off the machine chip with my info…

The rainbow over my street today

came bright and brilliant

in the asphalt scented air

as the rain brought the perfume

of the sun

from spring warm…

Your relationship with yourself is not all that different from your relationship with other people. In fact, what kind of relationship you have with yourself will influence your existing relationships with others.

One of the most important things you can do in life is have a loving relationship with yourself, like any relationship, relationships take work on an ongoing…

A suspended member has sent you a message on Temple Illuminatus.  Bunny of a honey (rockneasterbunny@yahoo.com) writes:



Lelia, your funny.. Do you really think im not on there right now lol ? Please.. and fyi.. I dont care if any of your members join anywhere.. that is not the point, I have contempt, not hate, annoyance not rage, at your ethics, the way you try to work your charm and spam silently using links, adding the same ass…

Beautiful day today... Last year when the roses started blooming, I awoke one morning to the cooing of a dove, sitting amongst the blood red buds of my roses. The dove came and went a few times, and soon was spotted with a mate. Over the winter I didn't see them.

This Easter Monday, the doves have returned, together, cooing and pecking in the seed under the birdfeeders.

So beautiful, pretty little pale ring necked doves...

I didn't get a great shot of them, hard to do…