Comment

Comment by Leila Raven on June 9, 2011 at 4:06pm

For sure ღMysticpagan*Hedgewitchღ - I  think most site owners know who this is... I've never had to mention her by name to anyone.  

I don't think it's jealousy so much as she just feeds on drama... I'm over it. I have no idea if she's still doing it or not because I've been less and less active on other sites as this one grows and can't be bothered to check if she's still ranting around on the sites I am on. So no worries there.

Thanks for your kind comment on the site here... :) I am so appreciative of our great members and admins, you have no idea. I feel blessed. We have the occasional person who behaves badly every once in a while, but for the most part it's really a great group of people.

Comment by Leila Raven on May 29, 2011 at 1:42pm

Thanks littleone, no worries, it's all long past, history, water under the bridge and all that!

Spamming means someone mass emails or messages other people or posts messages in inappropriate places usually because they are trying to sell something or they are trying to get people to come to their site or they just enjoy being annoying. Basically it means sending messages that violate a sites rules and are disruptive to its members or generally unwanted by it's members.

If people do it by accident, and are warned and it's explained to them, then it's not an issue, with spam it's done intentionally in a way that dis-respects a site, site owners and members.

Comment by Leila Raven on April 26, 2011 at 5:52pm

lol

Comment by Leila Raven on April 26, 2011 at 4:46pm

Nigel, you've just described one of the primary therapy techniques used in Adlerian Psychology (crosses out her name on her degree with a crayon and prints in Nigel's) lol.

I haven't tried this specifically with this situation, and I shall, thanks. I've been meditating on increasing compassionate feelings toward this person, and focusing on trying to shift into peace, forgiveness, compassion, etc... but I think I'm struggling because I'm not dealing with an integral part of the equation within myself. I need to go back to revist those painful past places a bit more and work on shifting some peace, forgiveness, and compassion toward self as well...

It comes up for what I want is validation, validation for being a 'good' person. I go back to a few memories of where my parents or teachers blamed me for something I didn't do, which makes sense because I feel this person is angry with me for something I didn't do, or didn't realize would upset them at the time. I struggle to find feelings and memories of validation, though I know they're there right now... I know the validation has come to come from within, self trust, self love, trusting that the self is a good person, and not needing the self to be a 'perfect' person.

It's not this other person I'm struggling to forgive or have compassion for, ultimately it's self. Logically I may know that my intentions and heart are in the right place, that I'm a good person, that the evidence of that is everywhere to be seen, but in my heart I fear I'm a bad person... which I know is a common fear people have, and it's one I'm allowing this person to exploit in me.

I know the responsibility lays with self. still working on it... but mostly doing pretty good I think. No tears today, no anger, just weary weary and a little dreary. lol.

 

Comment by Leila Raven on April 26, 2011 at 7:51am

Vlada, yes, it's a lesson I've been given many times in life, and each time I'm a little farther along, I think I've almost learnt this one... lol.

Comment by Leila Raven on April 26, 2011 at 4:44am

That was wonderful Enercia, thank you. It's a reminder I needed to hear, I find I stay in compassion much of the time now, but do move occasionally into that hurt place of pity for certain. I'm still very much working on some old deep seated issues here. This situation does trigger some old wounds from past betrayals from female friends in my life. It's not emotionally effortless to find compassion.

I keep taking time to breath deep and allow myself to feel gratitude for this person and this situation, for helping me work on this lesson, and let go of these old fears and needs.

I love what the Dalai Lama says in regards to Tibet's position with China, that he is grateful for the compassion and tolerance it has taught, "In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." Though the thought of thinking of anyone like an enemy is nonsensical to me, we are all interconnected.

However, I can clearly see my own hurt feelings in the post above, and see me struggling with them, still hindering and blocking me which makes it unlikely for much positive movement. I need to let go a little more, it's just triggering another issue for me which is a need to protect and care for others, and it bothers me that this person's vendetta against me, as they're not interested in getting members, is that they're pretty much just pissing off the other people on my site, and other people getting harassed because someone has an issue with me... just plain sucks.

I'm definitely not being empowering and compassionate here in the blog above, as much as I'd have liked to think I am. I'm very much still on the defensive. It was a ranting vent, and a lot of false bravado... when really I'm just literally sick and tired.

I'm very much still connecting to those old school yard bully wounds and feeling sorry for both myself and for the perceived bully. I'm still letting fear that grade one will repeat itself, that a few popular kids decide to despise you, say mean things about you to the other kids, and the next thing you know you're the kid picked last outcast...

You hit the nail square on the head Enercia

I'm going to keep on working on that gratitude and compassion, and not feed the negative cycle at all.

Blessings.