Where do I go from here? I've always known that I was different from other people. I grew up the middle child of four sisters. My father passed away when I was six years old and my mom never remarried. At that age my mom said to me "son, you are now the man of this house". I took that very serious and looked out for my sisters.
During my childhood, I would always dream of Space ships and for some strange reason I would feel like I would be trying to escape from them. I also felt as if "I'm the color blue or red" I would be lying down or just thinking as a child and I would feel like I was the color blue and other times red. Since I was the only boy in a small family, I would just be on my own. I would play by myself or just climb to the top my house and just stare at the sky and wonder what was out there, as if I belong to the sky. I would spend hours just staring at the sky, the moon and if I could the SUN. I always knew that there was more then what I had in my life but it was out there in space.
Growing up was tough for me. I had school friends in grade school, it was when I was in Junior High that I could tell if my friends would lie and what they really thought of me. So I never really could hold on to any friends. I had one best friend growing up, he lived a few houses down mine. He was a true friend, he was like by brother from another mother. He passed away in 2010 in a car accident (I miss him). At times I'm able to sense him, he had a message for his wife but how do you tell someone that "your husband just told me something". Anyway.
Music was my only way to keep my faith alive. When I say faith, I mean my beliefs. I grew up roman catholic but that was because that was my moms belief. Deep down inside I did not believe in "Religious belief" I knew there was a GOD and all just not how it was presented to me "cut and dry". At times as a child I thought the SUN was a god because I felt LOVE from it. That just had me thinking other ways then what was written in the bible. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot truth in what written but I wanted more then what was written. I always felt that they kept something out and it was up to me to find out so I would seek out the answers but some how I thought I knew them but unable to prove it. I thought it was all in my mind.
As you can tell im not a writer or never been able to express myself. At times I have so much to say but unable to put it down on paper. So much is in my thoughts and once I open up it just comes out from all directions.
As I get more comfortable with this place "TI". I will wrtie down more and continue to wirte my life story for someone to read and say "your not alone". I will find a place for me to belong. A place where I can communicate with other of my kind and be "The real me". The one that is honest, loyal, caring, loving, faithful, truthful and a piece of GOD, the creator of all things.
I will also copy and past to one the groups that I feel where I belong.
Love Light and Peace,