LIght Bulb

Ever since I can remember I was told that I was "too sensitive" and why are you crying at the tv show/movie? Why do you always cry?  I then was diagnosed with low saratonin in my brain and told I would have to be on medicine my entire life.  I then was diagnosed as manic depressive.  This was all while I was a young child.  I didn't know any better. I always hated the fact that I could look at someone and immediately start crying!  Or watching something on tv and break out into a sobbing fit.  I would tell people I was meant for greatness never really knowing what it was.

I haven't watched tv/movies in years.  I can't. I end up being an emotional basket case.  I was always told I was weak and that I needed to "toughen up" to make it in this world.  So I kept going to Psychiatrists and they would put me on pills to suppress my emotions, etc..

I never understood why I had stomach issues, I never understood that when I was in a public place with lots of people I would start to panic and feel out of control.  I never knew that me telling everyone that I need to go to a large body of water so I could get centered had any connection.  I never knew that my love of animals had any connection!

3 1/2 years ago my husband commited suicide in front of me,  that has put my life in a fast spinning spiral of crazy.  I have struggled with this for since it happened. I have learned that the human race is awful that I didn't want to be around them, that I wanted to be around animals as they show "pure" love.  And this past week I had reached the breaking point. I was planning ways I could leave this horrible torment, this horrible life.  I was tired of always feeling so out of control emotionally, not knowing what the hell was going on with me.  Until last night...

A couple of weeks, out of random I posted on twitter that I thought I might be an empath.  and that was it.  Next thing I know an empath group started following me.  I started to read the signs you are an empath and wouldn't you know it but it described me to a t!  Not only that but I was floord with the similarites in my life!  Things made sense!

Now that I know what I am, NOW WHAT?  what do I do?  How do I get focused on me? I'm so out of sync with me and I dont' know how to control this, if anyone can help please?!?!?! I'm begging you.