Temple Illuminatus


The Laughing Zebra

Laugh Dammit...You'll feel better

Members: 38
Latest Activity: 20 hours ago

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Discussion Forum

New Soap?

Started by Linda M. 20 hours ago. 0 Replies

A mother thought her kids had given her soap as a present. But when she lathered up with it the next day, she got a huge surprise.Not everything is as it seems.One mother found this out the hard way…Continue

Middle School Girls and Their Love For Lipstick

Started by Carmen Elsa Irarragorri Wyland on Monday. 0 Replies

A principal of a small middle-school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. Though he was a rather stern disciplinarian and a bit of an old fuddy-duddy, he was not…Continue

Here's A Way To Spice Up Your Office

Started by Linda M. Mar 3. 0 Replies

Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows:ONE POINTRun one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways…Continue

"The Teaching of Elementary Science and Mathematics"

Started by Linda M. Feb 24. 0 Replies

There are several ways to solve a problem. For example, consider the following from "The Teaching of Elementary Science and Mathematics" by Alexander Calandra.The process of creativity is a…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Linda M. 20 hours ago

Comment by Linda M. 20 hours ago

Comment by Linda M. on March 17, 2017 at 4:48pm

~My older brother just called me a moron. I'm going to kick his arse when I'm older then him.
~I'm fed up with my boss forcing me to stand on one leg every single day. big fan; Tomorrow I'm putting my foot down.
~Some guy knocked on my door and asked me if I've ever considered an alternative energy supplier. I said, 'no, I'm quite happy with food.
~I'm about to have a cup of dangerous coffee. Safe tea first.
~Windmills: big fan; big, big fan.
~My mate asked me if I wanted to play electric shock Monopoly. I jumped at the Chance.
~My wife laughed at me when I slipped on a banana skin. In my defense I didn't have a condom.
~I just read a list of 100 things to do before you die. I'm pretty sure, 'yell for help' wasn't one of them.
~Women bake cookies. Men delete them.
~My electrician mate accidentally blew the power to the ice cube factory next door. The company has gone into liquidation.
~My password is MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto, because it has to be at least four characters.

Comment by Carmen Elsa Irarragorri Wyland on March 3, 2017 at 7:30pm

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind
him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger,
fries and a coke," and turns to The ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the
same," says the ostrich.


A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
Be $9.40 please" The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact
change for payment.


The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
Says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the
same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.


This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks
the waitress.


"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato
and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.


Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be
$32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
Places it on the table.


The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse
me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your
pocket every time?"


"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic
and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me
two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I
would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would
always be there."


"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for
a Million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
as long as you live!"


"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there," says the man.


The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"


The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall
chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

Comment by Linda M. on March 3, 2017 at 7:10pm

The caterer was consulting with a woman about throwing a birthday party for her 72-year-old husband.

"Is it a surprise?" the caterer asked.

"Oh, no," answered the woman. "My husband knows he's going to be 72.

Comment by Linda M. on March 3, 2017 at 7:10pm

Getting a haircut
Women's version:
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
Men's version:
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.

Comment by Carmen Elsa Irarragorri Wyland on February 26, 2017 at 11:17am
Comment by Linda M. on February 24, 2017 at 6:26pm

To commemorate his first visit to our library, I gave a six-year-old boy a bookmark. More familiar with electronic gadgets than old-school tools, he had no clue how it worked. So I demonstrated by placing it between two pages, then closing the book.

"When you start reading again, voilà!" I said, opening the book to my bookmarked page.

"Wow!" he said. "That's cool!"

Comment by Linda M. on February 17, 2017 at 5:50pm

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her.

"Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news," suggested the eldest son.

The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him.

"Now, you don't have to worry about anything," said the doctor. "I am fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe if left to me."

The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the conversation around to football pools.

"Tell me," said the doctor, "what would you do if you had a large win on the pools – say one million pounds?"

"Why," replied the old lady, "I'd give half of it to you, of course."

The doctor fell down dead with shock.

Comment by Linda M. on February 10, 2017 at 5:49pm

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Posted by Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ~ XERCES~ Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ on March 24, 2017 at 1:53pm 0 Comments

Monday Morning Coffee #1

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Posted by Rowena Moran on March 7, 2017 at 10:00am 6 Comments

Goddess to Endure

Posted by Julianna Kincaid on March 4, 2017 at 10:35pm 5 Comments

~~this months awareness~~

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