Temple Illuminatus

I had considered waiting and putting this into the book I am working on, but recently I have realized that this little tidbit might be timely all by itself.


Ok, let's go back in time to the summer of 1974.  I was 5 years old and living in Alabama.  It was a cloudless blue sky, my friends and I were playing outside in the fresh summer air when the three of us were suddenly stopped in our tracks.  They did not fly in as you would expect, but three craft appeared overhead.  They looked like derby hats made from the most brilliant silver metal I have ever seen.  My two friends began jumping around in child excitement saying, "Look!  Flying saucers!"  They were somewhat afraid and somewhat elated and as they looked to me to verify their fears, they noticed me just standing there as if caught in some conversation they couldn't hear.  They were absolutely right.  


I had no fear because from the moment the craft arrived, I was in a telepathic conversation with those on board.  I cannot tell you word for word what was said because the language was more pictures, thoughts and feelings than actual words, but the message was clear enough to me.  I was basically told not to fear that these were my family from my real home and that they just wanted me to know they were watching because there would be times soon that I would feel utterly alone and alien.  They let me know that one day I would understand all that was to happen in my life.  I smiled and said, "Ok.  I love you too!"  A phrase which my friends could not understand at the time because they couldn't see or hear who I was talking to.


I suppose this little fact frightened them because nothing was ever said about the encounter after that day.  They had asked me who I was talking to and I said, "Didn't you hear them?  It was the people in the saucers."  They had no reaction except to tell me I was just imagining things and then as quickly as we were stopped in play, we started back up.


Throughout my life I endured scars both emotional and physical.  There is currently not a place on my body that does not hold a scar and no place in my mind and heart that has not suffered intense scarring.  I have cheated death on several occasions, the easiest to recall would be at age 12 or 13 when my friend strangled me until I found myself in a face to face confrontation with the Divine Collective.  They verified what was told to me by the craft, telling me that all this pain and scarring was necessary and to have patience and one day I would understand.  They also let me know that they had sent the craft when I was 5.  I then was sent back alive with no one the wiser.


I had a corrupt cop pull his throw away 357 on me and only by the grace of Divinity did he not fire.  Once again cheating death.  Around the same time, I had been living fully in Junkieland, but I was combining drugs on a daily basis that should have killed me.  At one time I was regularly doing a quarter to a half gram of meth chased with 60-70 units of synthetic morphine.  It was only after meeting a guy who was a former paramedic that I learned that no human could survive this lethal cocktail even once, yet I was doing this every day.  


Then there is the most recent one.  I had emergency open heart surgery at the age of 39.  I survived an aortic dissection which I was told no one ever survives.  I was dead for 10 hours on the operating table.  My heart stopped, my lungs stopped and my blood pumped through a machine, the surgery was suppose to be 3 to 4 hours, but it lasted 10.  Not only were they able to bring me back, but with an unheard of lack of any side effects.


When I woke, a process that took a full year, I found out the answers to all the whys and I was shown my home.  I have had extreme encounters with what many call ETs throughout my life, but to me they were just family.  


I am a woman and I am thoroughly scarred.  It is time to state it as such.

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Scares and odd spots hmmm

Only show that you are so unique and infinately loved that you shall remain here to spread your knowledge and light. xx

Dear sister Rev. Luminakisharblaze,

We had come across some other stories about your life while looking into something else you recently posted.  We were a bit taken aback about how to discuss our perceptions of your experiences because they are too much like some of our own experiences.

Yes, many people live lives full of pain, and many no doubt live lives in extreme isolation, but these harsh soils seem to rarely nurture the sparks of Divine Awareness we see in too few people like ourselves or like yourselves.

What makes us more like you than you may be able to believe is that we know we have died in this incarnation many times and returned, much as you seem to have done.

Our death wish began when we were about three months old, or perhaps a bit earlier, we had not yet been born when we already knew we wanted to die.  Consequently, we have manifested death in this incarnation throughout our entire life, dying over, and over again.

We came to love dying, the pain of it, the thrill of it, because our deaths always presaged Awakening into our eternal spiritual life where we were always happy, healthy, and strong, equals to any Gods or Goddesses.

Each time we died we brought back only tiny shards of our awareness of the real side, but those tiny shards were assembled into a clearer and clearer picture over time.

While only conjecture, it seems to us that you have undergone experiences very similar to our own for the same purposes, to teach us what we needed to know to better serve humanity.

Our homes may be on distant stars, but Temple Illuminatus seems home enough for now.

Welcome home sister.




We do indeed share a road.  It may be a far back road, but it is a place of familiarity to us.
Sometimes, tales like these are presented in a way making it difficult to avoid being skeptical. This has the ring of truth to it; it's coherent, logically sequential, and presented without any apparent agenda other than to tell the story.

Why you have had to endure suffering to the extent described is beyond me. Most of us experience our share, but the consistency of yours seems to be extreme. I am sorry for what you have had to endure, and I do hope that in the unfolding times, a brighter experience of life may be yours.

Thank you for sharing this. Wishing you wholeness and much love,


I endured this harsh path to prepare me for the task for which I was sent.  In order to understand a thing you must be that thing and walk its path.  My place is the center point between light and dark.  My task is to balance the extremes.  In order to do this I had to first truly understand every human path both good and bad.  My life has been one of extremes and I have spent it being pursued by the darkest of forces.  It was not until I faced them in battle that I was granted true rights to this vessel.  


True there is no agenda here but to tell the story.  I guess you could say I am coming out of the closet (or furnace in my case)

Hi brother Todd,

The Why you address seems to be the subject of this forum topic : http://www.templeilluminatus.com/forum/topics/what-is-pain-for


We accept the Why described by Rev. Luminakisharblaze in her reply comment it is much like the answer we would give for ourselves.

What all of our pain has taught us about other people's pain allows us to communicate with them more effectively.  Many people feel terribly isolated by their pain, it is something that no one other than themselves can experience.  Like Faith, it can be difficult to share pain.

Emotional pain often is often concommitant with an inability to trust, because much of the pain we experience appears to result when our trust or expectations have been broken.

When our pain makes us less trusting, we may fail to trust those who sincerely want to help, and who may have the skills to help us in ways natural to ourselves, ways we might apppreciate, if only we could trust them enough to allow them to help us.

This is a dilemma for anyone in pain.

People in pain often trust those who seem able to expereince their pain with them.

By learning all we can about pain in our own lives, by our first-hand experiences, we become better able to empathize with those who feel mistrustful, who feel isolated by their pain, we become better able to express our sympathy and compassion and win their trust.

Our pain teaches us to become better healers.

We think Rev. Luminakisharblaze also said this, but that she may have said this in a way which may have been more apparent to ourselves than to some others.

We are here to serve.






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