Tips on how to make friends on a site like this. :)
Want to make friends, but not sure how to start? What to say? Afraid of sounding stupid? You're not alone.
A lot of people are feeling the same way, it's like a high school dance, with a few people out on the floor, and lots of wallflowers. Don't worry about it, you're in good company with a lot of other wall flowers waiting to get their friend bloom on.
Here's some tips.
- Check out new members signing in on the members page, which you can find a tab for on the top bar above, which conveniently lists members by the most recent people to join. Read some new members profiles and if you think someone might be compatible with you, simply send them a friend's request, with a friendly welcome saying hi, or that you see that they're new and you wanted to welcome them, you might mention stuff you have in common from their profile page. If you share a common interest and are in a group for that, you can give them a heads up on the group and let them know they might be interested in checking it out. So don't be afraid to welcome new members, get to know them, and offer friendship. Most people coming onto a new site are grateful to have some friends, and are pleased when someone sends them a request and a welcome.
- When you check out a post, picture, video, group, or anything on the site that you like. Check who created or shared it, and reach out to them. Go beyond just leaving a comment on that item and head over to their profile page, and drop them a friend request letting them know you liked what they had to share and you'd like to be friends. Using your common interest or appreciation in something they've shared as a way to ask if they want to be friends, is a great way to make like minded friends. So when you check something out on the site, go to the source, say hello, let them know you liked what they had to share, and see if they want to be a friend.
- Similar to 2, if you post something, and people comment on it. You can use that as an opportunity to make a new friendship, instead of just thanking them for their comment their on that post or pic or video, you can also go to their profile page, and add them as a friend, and thank them in the friend request for their interest/comment/feedback
So there you have 3 great ways to 'break the ice' and give yourself an 'excuse' to add someone as a friend and something to say to get the conversation started. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there, and take a risk, you just might make some friends. yeah, you might come across the occasional hermit-ish humbug who ignores your request, but that will be their loss, and you're sure to find some good friends in the process.
Friendships are powerful things, and like many things what you put into them, what you put out there, comes back to you, often multiplied. So if you're looking for a friend... be a friend, and you'll find more friends than you ever bargained for. *smile*
Anyone else have ideas on good ways to make friends online on sites like the Temple?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ☥Vlada Sui Generis☥ on -
So what happens if you do all of these things you've just mentioned above here and the people you friend request and or they friend requested you don't go any further than just that,accept your friend request then sit on your page saying absolutely nothing..or not even replying to anything you comment on their profile pages even,nor their photo's or videos..then what do you do!!... delete them and think to yourself ..Hmmm well that was a waste of time accepting their friend request. Or do you let them sit on your page like haunted ghost faces with pretty coloured avatars.These are all good tips for making friends you've mentioned here sure,but it dosn't have any guantee's they're the same person they are advertising themselves to be on their profile pages, so just take that into account, they'll show they're true colours to you and who they really are in a matter of weeks or possibly a month. Sad to know this open hand policy of friendship isn't reciprocated in true unconditional Love in a community of spiritualist isn't it..But Oh well spose thats life these days,just have to face facts..many souls still hide behind the veil even in here...Oh and I may sound like I'm hacked off and being blunt.. but I'm just being straight up and saying it as it is thats all..Not being negative at all..simply stateing protection of the soul emotionally.....And I'm still smiling...
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Permalink Reply by Leila Raven on -
That's good advice, to not have expectations that people will respond a certain way. Everyone has different ideas about what it means to be an online friend, and everyone has different amounts of time/energy they may spend on the site.
I find everybody has different social styles. Some people are just not extroverted, they don't tend to reach out. It may have nothing at all to do with how they feel about others, about their friends, or the people around them. They may be shy, they may have social phobias, they may have self esteem issues, or all of the above.
Extroverted personalities may assume introverted personalities don't care, because they are less expressive. Sometimes introverted personalities are confused and/or suspicious when people offer friendship. So some people may even refuse a request, ignore it, or react with something along the lines of 'so what are you selling? what's the angle? are you a Nigerian scammer?...
We're all different, with different assumptions and expectations of encounters with others based on our own past, our own experiences, and our own personalities and wiring.
I always think it's important to try not to make assumptions or have expectations in terms of how others will be, or react or respond. It's also important not assume the reasons why they are the way they are, react, or respond.
It's up to each person to decide what constitutes friendships for them, and if there is a 'standard' a friend has to live up to or not to be considered such.
I don't think there is a right approach for everyone, because we all have different social and relationship needs. If people don't want to have friends, and just want to stay hidden in the Temple shadows and listen and learn... that's okay too. :)
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Permalink Reply by dbkundalini on -
Let's be friends. It could be nice.
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Permalink Reply by ☥Vlada Sui Generis☥ on
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Yeah well you and I are alike were literally communcators Zazu thats why, we dont like to sit back and watch the world around us pass us by in silence we want to be a part of every thing around us,why else would we come into a site named 'Social Networking ' if you cant be just that social..And being a Raven person its part of my personality to create friendships that are ever lasting and personally sharing my whole inner soul with people in ways that have meaning,understanding & are spiritually entwined.And Im not one to use people for personal need or gain either it must be of mutual signifigance or I wont waste my energies & time simple.
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Permalink Reply by Leila Raven on
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The wonderful thing is that there are so many people in the world, that really there are friends for everyone, not everyone needs to be compatible with everyone else for everyone to have a wonderful life full of healthy friendships.
I am pickier in some ways than I used to be, when someone hurts, betrays me, or is otherwise negative or draining or using of me, I am more protective of myself and my loved ones now and I end those friendships quickly, or if a friend seems to be unhappy or stressed with me in some way. I avoid drama and draining or one sided friendships, instead of putting effort towards them, where before I would hard to rescue a friendship and feel a loyalty that was self damaging. However I am much less pickier in who I friend to begin with now. Now I see everyone as a friend, and then become 'picky' only if I see something that to me is not so friendly after all. Quicker to accept people, and quicker to move on and trust in what I feel when I realize a relationship is not healthy for me.
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Permalink Reply by ☥Vlada Sui Generis☥ on
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I hear yah loud and clear on those points for sure..
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Permalink Reply by Leila Raven on
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Karen, absolutely, also in order to develop deep friendships and find out who you click with... you need to start somewhere. I find on other sites I may make say 50 friends, and maybe 5 of them keep in touch, and that's just fine... but if I wouldn't have made those other 45 brief just 'add me' friends.. I wouldn't have made the 5 good friends that I DO have things in common with and do have a connection with, and who had an interest in me also. They all may have looked like equally interesting or empty profiles to begin with.
I think sometimes the more conditions we put on friendships, the more we create an unfriendly world for ourselves... I wonder what a world of unconditional friendship might look like?
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Permalink Reply by ☥Vlada Sui Generis☥ on
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I think sometimes the more conditions we put on friendships, the more we create an unfriendly world for ourselves... I wonder what a world of unconditonal friendship might look like?
It will never happen in my eyes,cos this is what makes us all individuals,if we were all the same it would be a real boring world as this is why our world is made up of different personalities to create interesting connections,thats just my opinion..
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Permalink Reply by baggins on -
relationships are difficult... online relationships more so... but that is the way the digital age impacts upon us... I'm old fashioned, I simply love the physical connection of seeing into that persons eyes, of being in their presence, of hearing their words.
Not all of us are good communicators on paper, and sometimes we get it hopelessly wrong...sigh... This friends thingy is new to me, and I often found it quite difficult to maintain friendships based on blog posts which seemed to resonate, and then in one on one communication they seemed to have completely lost that 'spark' which so interested me in the first place, sometimes it would be such a contradiction that I wondered if they had actually penned the blog post in the first place![lol]
sigh... but I try... I think it's pretty much a hit and miss affair with me at the moment, I reckon I'll get the hang of it soon enough...maybe... sigh... dunno...but I try..
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Permalink Reply by ☥Vlada Sui Generis☥ on
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Oh I can so relate to what you just said in regards to connecting to people based on their blog posts cos Ive found just that as well, Im like gees this person wrote this blog with full flare, soul and spirited personality and here they are sounding nothing like that & totally the opposite to what they had written I see this all the time and thought the same as you did. But if youve made the effort to talk to them conversations should just naturally flow and if your personalities dont match your going to come across troubles in this region.
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Permalink Reply by ☥Vlada Sui Generis☥ on
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Well Karen thats what you get with us Indigo's were fast and fullon,and on the move at all times,no flies land on us in other words.But feel the energies and recognise my soul signature that way it dosnt matter what I put up you'll know its me.Your already clicking on to who I am already.and that kiddy you placed on there so reminds me of myself when I was a kid thats for sure love the bottle in the ear "is that were my mouth is gees wondered why I was always feeling hungry"hahahha...
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