Sometimes I find myself in a familiar situation, I am aware that this situation has to do with me... I create it... just with different ppl who to fill in the roles... I am aware of that... I do know what it is... also that it is stored in our body cells... how do we let go of these believes... accepting the situation? feeling safe within...? It is different every time and it feels much safer as it did before... and still....are these lessons we have chosen to learn are with us our whole life...as wounds???
yes... move on... then again...that might comes again... the feelings within are different...not so intense anymore...but still there...is that the way?
I have spent the last few years trying to overcome life patterns. We are 80% patterns and 20% free will, that is all we have to change our patterns with. I have been working shamanically to vanquish mine. I have one particular one which is self destructive. With determination, hand work and strength it has not ruled me for almost four years, sometimes when times are hard and my my emotions are raw i can feel it trying to reassert itself, though it doesn't have the power and i know it now and shut it down. I don't suppose they every entirely leave us, but every time it has less power. It does not matter if it stays with us, it inly matters that it no longer has power of us. x
Dear Quinnan, thank you for your answer... I am experiencing the same...at the beginning I was not aware of it... it was as if it simply happened... I was ruled by these patterns...the more I became aware of them... it has changed...it was, as if I saw the veil...as an observer of what was experiencing...the fears were not so deep anymore... so we need to accept these patterns and not giving them power anymore...
LOL - Don't you just hate it when you know exactly what you're doing wrong - and why - but still you can't stop!
Great post. I agree with the idea of these patterns becoming safe and comfortable. It's also about how we see ourselves, I think. We take on a label and live up to it (I just posted something similar on another thread about psychology), and the more ingrained the behaviour/attitude becomes, the more we associate ourselves with it.
It's one thing to analyse oneself and come to an understanding about unhelpful behaviour patterns, but it's often quite another making the necessary changes. Personally, I'm brilliant at step one, but I usually fail on step two. Ironically, I know exactly why this is, only I can't seem to change that either!
that is the essence of my question... how to change... or even if it is necessary... these patterns or believes I have about myself...I have got them in the past and believed them- I mean...they wont never really feel safe and comfortable...cause they are a bit self-destructive.... it is more... that the faith or strength within is growing and I am more calm within myself each time... and wont go into fear or self- destructive behaviour that badly anymore...hmmm maybe that is the answer...
Yes, i believe it is necessary. I think the trick is to pick one pattern you want to change, and to break it down by purposefully doing things that go against it.
The brain creates electric signals, and as a response or behaviour is repeated, these circuits become shorter and stronger - they become automatic. Three weeks is all it takes to set up a conditioned response, so, theoretically, one should be able to break a pattern down in a similar time-frame, if practicing continuously to respond in the opposite manner than you usually would. Of course, that means being absolutely aware of everything one is doing and saying at every moment, which is where it gets tricky. ;-)
I believe this topic falls in the realm of the subconciousness & its programming/conditioning, to be exact.
it is programmed of course... it is conditioning... I know that... and still how do I change that programming... affirmation do not really work...I do know that it is not true... and still...
No, affirmations are not enough. You must show the brain the new patterns repeatedly to allow it to replace the old ones. Moment-to-moment awareness is the key, IMO.
ok... I will work with that too... sometimes situations did show up... in accordance to my old believes... through to these situations I became aware of what I was subconsiously still believing...so... now I can work with the deeper and finer layers... :) was good to write it to you...thank you for your words :)
No worries. :-) You've prompted me to formulate a plan of action. I rather stupidly hadn't considered working on one pattern at a time before reading this thread - there are so damn many to choose from!
So, thank-you too.
You have to tackle it one pattern at a time. I then worked round the circle with each one. Looking at were it came from and how it ended up being my pattern, what the beliefs where which had created it and sustained it. I then worked the circle again looking at how i wanted to react/behave, and challenging those beliefs so they held less sway. I would then journey and ask my skunks how to beat them. Once i know a pattern for what it is i can be aware of it. I watch now and when i feel the stirrings of one rising i do the opposite, i stay in instead of going out. I meditate. I have a little battle in my mind against it, reaffirming the new belief over the old. Each time you work through this it makes you stronger and after a while your ready to challenge another one.
You do have to ready to let them go though, that it hardest part of all.